So, How Does That Make You Feel?

I am not a psychologist. but, sometimes I feel like one, especially when I utter the words “and how does that make you feel?”IMG_1780

In fact, I typically giggle when it comes out of my mouth. It

always sounds so cliche to me. But I have come to learn that checking in with your feelings is one of the most powerful and helpful things you can do.

Many people have become experts at discounting, minimizing and hiding how they really feel. Including me. I spent years unaware of the strategy I was creating to stay strong and in control. not that those are bad traits to have, most of us would prefer those. But what happened was, I lost touch with a very important part of myself,  my inner guidance system.

I lost touch with who I really am.

Because of this I could never allow myself to have a full experience of anything. My longing for love, connection, friendships was just that, something I wanted but couldn’t  allow.  Even after all the holistic work, the books I read, the seminars and retreats I attended I still unconsciously kept my strategy in place.  What was interesting is for the most part I felt good. I felt safe and comfortable. But there is another part that wanted more. Knew there was more.  Little did I know that being honest with how I felt, allowing myself to be vulnerable and loving myself enough to tell the truth about how I felt would be the catalyst for real change.

So, How does that feel? It feels scary as hell but you know what? I did it anyway because the payoff is worth it.

Now, you may not be like me. You may be very in touch with your feelings. Some might call you emotional. (or the not nice label.. “emotional basket case”) Either way you can learn to use your feelings to guide you towards what you are wanting, in an authentic heart centered way. Your feelings will lead you to your souls desire. Otherwise known as “who you really are”

Getting in touch with your feelings takes a bit of courage and practice because like I said, most people have some really great strategies in place to keep how they really feel behind a locked door. In fact most people aren’t even aware. That is, until something happens; The marriage breaks up,  The weight gets out of hand, the addiction is out of control, etc. This is usually when I get a phone call. I admit, I get very excited when I get that call because I know that persons life is about to change for the better.

Here are a couple of things you can do to start getting in touch with your feelings. Otherwise known as your internal guidance system.

First. Discover how your feelings feel in your body. How do you know you feel sad, happy, anxious, excited, angry, etc? Become aware. Check in with yourself many times a day and ask yourself, “How am I feeling? How do I know? You can also google some feeling words so that you can expand your feeling vocabulary.

Second. Watch movies and allow yourself to feel AND express your emotions. For example. I used to watch a sad movie but not allow myself to cry. Some people might not allow anger or laughter. As you have these experiences, practice letting yourself express. Notice what you tell yourself about it. Notice how you feel, Notice what you notice.

As you get comfortable, you may want to share with someone you feel safe with.  I know this is one of the hardest parts but trust me, most people will feel honored.

If this feels too hard or overwhelming there may be some extra healing work to do. If you need some help, call me today.

Lori Barnett