September 26, 2017

Expecting Change

Have you had times in your life where you hoped someone else would be different? You believed your life would be better, happier more fulfilling, If only they, your partner, your boss, your friend…. would change. –Your very happiness depending on another person to be and act the way you think they should?

Believe it or not, this is how most of us live. Judging others and blaming them for our pain and suffering. Trying to coax and manipulate to get things our way. But, what is really going on here?

The first thing that comes to mind is expectation. ‘We’, according to our thoughts and beliefs, expect people in our life to behave in a way that we deem acceptable to us. If they are not meeting our expectation, we are upset, frustrated, angry and host of other emotions. Since these emotions do not feel good, we suffer.

What if, you took responsibility for your emotions. What if you looked to the real reason you feel the way you do?

In the book “Conversations with God,” by Neale Donald Walsch it says; “It doesn’t matter what the other is being, doing, having, saying, wanting, demanding. It doesn’t matter what the other is thinking, expecting, planning. It only matters what you are being in relationship to that”.

Meaning, you are the only one in charge of your  thinking and reactions to how another person is being. You will have a life time of suffering if you expect people to be anything other than who they are.

I always say “If it’s not a problem for you, It’s not a problem.” A person has to decide for themselves when their life is not working for them. Look to yourself first to make  changes or accept what is. You choose.

Are you feeling aggravated, frustrated, disappointed in another? Ask yourself “what is this really about“? How are you feeling and what does it remind you of? My personal and professional experience show’s me, it is NEVER about the other person.

It takes courage to look honestly at yourself. To look within and address the pain of your past. Our unconscious fear of this pain is what keeps us projecting it onto other people. It is however, why it shows up. For you to heal, grow and have peace.

What if, You could allow another to be who they are? Allow them to have their journey? Accept them and love them, no matter what. AND What if, you could love and accept yourself in the process?

If you did that, You will have peace.

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